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Confessions of a Self-Employed Queen

That’s one of the many unimportant benefits of being self-employed—you can pick whatever job title you want. I picked Queen. I thought it was crazy enough to work fitting less pretentious than calling myself a writer.

As I loll around work at my castle home-office all day with my chauffeur, Myren, and my cat, Kitty for distractions company, I can hardly keep myself from shooting one of them but they hid the shot gun to be safe enjoy the freedom of being independent, of being my own boss. Sometimes I’m even the boss of my Chauffeur, Myren. (I’m

never the boss of my cat, Kitty.)

Things you can do when you’re self-employed:


Queen Kitty (or facsimile thereof)

  1. Pretend to work with the TV on to catch up on Game of Thrones for the latest news reports.

  2. Eat whatever garbage you can scrounge or have your chauffeur Myren take you to the store to buy more candy if you run out which happens all the time because I’myou’re a candy-holic home-cooked healthy meals at a time convenient to you.

  3. Lay around in bed until noon before you start work at your optimal time.

  4. Dress (dress?) in whatever you pick up off the floor of your closet after you convince the cat to get off it comfortable clothing.

  5. Go out in the middle of the day to the liquor store to stock up on tequila so you can get through the afternoon with the likes of Myren, the Chauffeur and Kitty, the cat for company do necessary errands during business hours.

  6. Hire a chauffeur named Myren and call it a business expense.

  7. Fire your chauffeur named Myren and hope he doesn’t sue your pants off for threatening bodily harm and never mention this mistake to anyone because it’s none of their business.

What do you do or would you do all day instead of working if you were self-employed?



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